Soul Sucker — Pure Cotton Tee – Conspiracy Emporium

They’re not just watching from the moon — they’re feeding on us from it. A shining beacon in the sky, calling out to reptilians and fellow interstellar travelers like a 24-hour pit stop, where the only thing on the menu is human souls. No substitutions. FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

Product features
- Garment-dyed to be as soft and colorful as nebulae.
- No side seams, like advanced off-world engineering.
- Built to survive repeated wear, machine washes, and machine wars.
- Made from 100% US cotton. Ethically sourced, or so we say.
- Double needle stitching where it matters. Can't be leaving any loose threads...